(This is the story of how Gene Simmons obtained one of the most uncouth superpowers of all time. This story is entirely fictitious, and is in no way meant to be taken as reality. No people portrayed here have actual superpowers, at least as far as I know.)
The year is 2015. It was night in the Simmons residence. Famed Kiss member Gene Simmons, also known for his show, Gene Simmons Family Jewels, was doing something very odd in the kitchen. He was imbibing a full gallon of radioactive fingernail polish.
"Urgh, that's the stuff..."
Now, there is an explanation for this. Last January, Gene had fallen into a massive vat of this strange substance. In a very Marvel-esque fashion, he gained the ability to shoot poisonous fingernail polish from any orifice in his body, but the man drawback is that he must have at lease a quarter of a gallon of the stuff in his body at all times, or else when he next uses this ability the poisonous substance will backfire and enter his bloodstream. And so every week, he polishes off a gallon of the liquid so that he can stay topped off.
The most spectacular event that befell the empowered Gene happened only last week. A super-corporation with ties to the Illuminati had attempted to take over the world, and after using his rather polished powers to carve a path through enemy soldiers to no avail, Gene hatched an idea. He brought together the old members of Kiss once more and held a massive concert outside the corporation's main stronghold and headquarters in the hopes of drawing out the leader. The epic concert lasted for several days, but at last the man came out and Gene drowned him in poisonous fingernail polish. And that's how Gene Simmons, the power of rock, and fingernail polish saved the world.
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